10. Reverse
‘This guy. Hey! He is asking for something weird again,’ Said Sarah loudly into the landscape.
Tom went over to Sarah’s desk and stood behind her to read over her shoulder.
‘Reverse order…,’ He mumbled as he read the email.
‘Yeah, I don’t get it’ She said.
‘We can’t do that, can we?’
Sarah shrugged. ‘I don’t know. No, not off the top of my head, I don’t think so.’ She turned her chair so that she could look up at me. ‘What do you think, Tom?’
I thought about it for a moment. ‘No, I don’t think so either.’ I pursed my lips. ‘What do you think, should we be able to do it?’
‘Like technically? I’m sure there is a hack, let me just think about it.’
I shook my head. ‘No, no, I mean should we be able to do a reverse order.’
Sarah turned back to her screen absentmindedly. She didn’t answer immediately. The question seemed strange at first, what could be wrong about reversing the order of things? I mean, it was just a pretty way to write something that the customer would have tried to do anyways, just not as nice.
Sarah looked up again at Tom. ‘I guess it’s fine? I don’t see what the problem is.’
Tom looked back at Sarah, into her eyes. ‘No, you don’t see the problem?’
Sarah just looked puzzled now.
‘No, no, perhaps not, I guess you’re right.’ Said Tom.
Sarah turned her chair to face Tom directly. She held onto both of the arms of the chair and planted her feet onto the floor. ‘No, alright. What, what is it?’
‘I am just being sensitive, don’t worry about me.’
‘No, what is it?’
Tom leaned back on the desk behind him. He felt silly saying this out loud, he always felt a bit paranoid when he thought like this. Sure, he didn’t believe anything, but he couldn’t help himself, sometimes things just felt a little weird and it stuck in his maw.
‘I don’t know, Sarah. The question is a little funny.’ Tom shifted and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Are we sure that we understand what he is asking? A reverse order, the order reversed. Why would you want to reverse the order. Does he say the order of what?’
‘No, he just wants to reverse the order of a list.’
‘What kind of list?’
‘Does it matter?’ she asked reluctantly. She felt like she was missing something obvious, but she was reluctant to believe she was at fault whenever she had something to do with Tom.
‘Yes, it matters. Why in the world would you want to reverse the order of things?’
‘Well, to present it differently.’
Tom raised his palms up into the air. ‘But what if the order is important. What if the original order is correct, even natural? What then?!’
‘It’s just a list.’
Tom shook his head. ‘Sure, just an order, too, right? No harm if the bugs eat the spider, right?’
Sarah frowned.
‘It is not for us to state the order of things, Sarah. It can be profoundly dangerous.’
‘It’s just words.’ She replied.
‘I love you.’
‘You what?’
‘I have always loved you, there is nothing more important to me in life. Do you love me?’
Sarah paused. She hesitated. She didn’t dare look him in the eye.
‘Well?! Please say yes.’
‘I, I mean, yes, I do.’
‘Good thing that wasn’t just words, right? What if they were just words?’
Sarah’s mouth dropped open and she almost began to cry. ‘That’s a bit asshole of you, isn’t it?’
‘I do love you, but I also just wanted to make the point that words matter. Words matter a lot.’
She put her hand up. ‘But, wait, you love me?’
‘Yes of course I do, I have been in love with you for the last year.’ Tom stood up and started pacing in front of Sarah. ‘It’s been absolutely unbearable, I hate having you as a report, not only is it a terrible word it is a terrible place of distance and conceit when all I want to do is take care of you, this is terrible, what am I going to do about it. Should I take it back, should we pretend that we feel nothing for each other?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘Yes, exactly, they are not just words. Imagine if they were easily reversed. Imagine if I said I hate you now, how would you feel?’
Sarah’s mind was swimming. She opened her mouth to speak, but she didn’t know what to say. She turned red and almost began to cry, but instead began to shout at Tom, cursing him with sound and half-delivered words.
Tom nodded along, ‘See, curses are just words too.’
Sarah finished up and stood up to go to the bathroom.
Tom touched her on her forearm. ‘I really do love you, you know.’
Sarah turned towards the owner’s office instead of the bathroom and marched through the open door. She stood in front of Ivan, the owner of their company, her arms akimbo.
‘Ivan!’ She shouted. Ivan looked up from his computer screen over his glasses. ‘Tom just told me he loves me.’
Ivan leaned back in his chair. ‘Wow, that’s big, big. What did you say?’
‘He then told me how that shows how words have meaning.’
Ivan giggled a little. ‘Yes, I suppose that does, doesn’t it. So he said it to prove a point? That’s a little cruel.’
‘But I don’t know!’ She replied.
Tom then walked into Ivan’s office and closed the door behind him. Ivan pointed at Tom and said, ‘I hear that you have been making fairly inappropriate rhetorical points.’
‘Like what?’ Tom asked.
Ivan then pointed at Sarah. ‘Like you told Sarah that you loved her!’
Tom nodded. He felt ten feet tall and ten pounds lighter, relieved that his burden was now out in the world. ‘Yes, I love Sarah very much.’ He replied. ‘Sarah told me that she loved me too, so I think that—’
‘Wait,’ Said Ivan, interrupting Tom. ‘Sarah, did you tell Tom that you love him too?’
Sarah looked around the room and flopped her hands down beside her. She didn’t know what to do anymore. She couldn’t believe that her secret was out as well, but that she was in love with this asshole seemed inconceivable.
Ivan nodded and steepled his hands in front of his face, leaning his elbows on his desk. This was indeed a sticky situation, and he was glad that Sarah had brought this too him. He wasn’t sure how to manage it, though. They were clearly in love, but Tom had muddled the whole thing with his point making, and on top of it was her manager. Neither of those things would do, thought Ivan. He wanted to fix this, though. He had always thought that they would be perfect for each other. He had to help Tom out of this hole that he had dug for himself.
‘Tom, what did you say that?’
‘To make a point about words being important’
‘Goodness gracious, Tom,’ replied Ivan, ‘Did you ever wonder about whether your own words were important?’
Tom nodded. ‘They are immensely important.’
Sarah turned to Tom and asked, ‘But have you ever wondered if they are important to anyone else?’
Ivan’s eyes grew wide and he nodded, encouraging Tom to take this point to heart.
‘Of course,’ Said Tom, ‘I am usually right. That’s important for everyone.’
Sarah’s lips drew a thin line across her face.
‘Tom,’ Said Ivan. ‘Why don’t you tell Sarah that you are wrong.’
Tom couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘But I am right!’
Ivan put his forehand in his hands. ‘What started this whole thing, anyways?’
‘Well, have you ever considered the natural order of things?’ asked Tom.
‘Sure, why not?’
Sarah pointed at Tom. ‘This weirdo is afraid that if we reverse the order of something in a blog post it’s gonna have celestial repercussions,’
‘Why?’ asked Ivan.
‘Cause words have meaning, don’t they?’ said Tom.
‘Huh,’ Said Ivan, ‘Good point. But oh dear. We don’t really get to choose who we love, do we, Sarah?’
‘I regret this immensely,’ Replied Sarah.
‘I understand,’ Said Ivan. He logged onto his computer and opened up a document. ‘Do you think that you can work with Tom anymore?’
‘No, I don’t think so.’st.
‘That’s fine, fine,’ Said Ivan, clicking his mouse. ‘This is none of my business, but do you think that you will give him a chance?’
Sarah paused for a moment. ‘What do you think? What should I do?’ She asked Ivan.
‘You are angry, you are embarrassed, but you seem to be in love. Why waste a precious thing?’
‘Make him apologize, then!’
‘Tom?’ asked Ivan expectantly.
Tom squirmed where he stood.
‘Tom?’
Tom stamped his foot. ‘I am sorry that I was right.’
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