7. Napkin

‘And then they started talking about when the computers can start manipulating us, and then they can do crazy things like dominate us financially’

James looked up from his cup and put the cappuccino back down onto the saucer. He wiped his mouth with a paper napkin already damp some coffee on the tabletop. ‘Financial domination?’ he asked.

Liam nodded and took a bite of his croissant. ‘Exactly, Exactly. I don’t get it though, we already get scammed all the time for money. Whats the difference?’

James shook his head. ‘No, no, that’s not financial domination. Its not some Nigerian prince, you aren’t getting tricked into giving money to someone that you don’t intend to give the money to. You are giving it to someone you want to. You want to give it to them.’

Liam didn’t understand. ‘Then why do they call it domination?’

‘Well, you see, they demand it of you. They require your money, you don’t have a choice.’

‘Oh, alright, so its more like blackmail than a scam. Coercion.’

James sucked on his teeth. ‘Well, yes but not really. You consent to it.’

‘So it’s required of you, but you consent. That doesn’t make any sense.’ Liam took another bite of his croissant. ‘Wait, I remember something like this on Vice. Is it sexual?’

James shrugged. ‘No, not really. I mean, you don’t get sex for your money.’ He laughed a little and picked up his coffee again. ‘No way.’

‘So why do you give them your money?’

‘Who me?’ James shook his head. ‘No way, no thanks, not for me.’ He laughed again.

Liam looked at his friend sideways. ‘I mean that makes sense, I don’t see the computer giving us any sexual favors.’

James just looked out the window.

‘So they’re saying,’ Liam continued, ‘That the computers will ask us for stuff and we will give it to them willingly?’

‘Require,’ corrected James.

‘Yes, sorry, require things of us.’

James nodded.

‘I mean they already require a password and a fingerprint, don’t they?’

James laughed again. ‘Yes indeed, its so silly. The analogy isn’t entirely fair, is it? It couldn’t be the same as with a dominatrix.’

Liam pursed his lips. ‘I don’t know, I bet that I could fall in love with a computer.’

Tom shifted on his window bench. ‘Sorry?’

‘Yeah, I bet a computer could trick me. Porn is already on a computer, isn’t it? I mean, that has quite the emotional hit, doesn’t it? The internet is mostly porn now, I think I heard somewhere.’

‘Is it love if it tricks you?’

‘I don’t know, isn’t love just a feeling?’ Liam looked down at his lap. He didn’t feel like he could trust his own answer, and took a sip from his water glass.

James didn’t know the answer to that question either. ‘It’s not about love, either, though.’

‘No?’ asked Liam, now curious and relieved to be avoiding love. ‘So what’s it about then?’

James put both his hands down on the table and turned squarely towards Liam. ‘Devotion.’

‘Devotion?’

James nodded.

‘Well that’s OK, that’s way easier than love.’

James clasped his hands in front of him. ‘Excuse me?’

‘Yeah, I mean I am devoted to United, but that’s like, that’s just my football team.’

‘You are devoted to your football team?’

‘Yeah, I mean United ‘til I die, right?’

Jame’s lip curled slightly. ‘I suppose,’ He replied after a moment. ‘But don’t you think that there is more to devotion than just football?’

‘What do you mean? They are terrible right now, and I still watch them.’

James cringed. ‘OK, alright, sure, but would you worship them?’

‘Worship?’

‘Worship.’

‘Like god?’

James paused. ‘Well, perhaps more like an owner.’

‘Why would you worship an owner? That sounds blasphemous.’

James shook his head, ‘No no no, you’re missing it again, remember this is consensual.’

‘But you are talking about coercion and ownership.’

‘Yes, but look past the words, don’t get caught up on the words, this is about feeling.’

‘Right, OK, so yeah, then it isn’t as serious as love.’

James heart fell out from within. ‘No, maybe not.’

Liam and James sat at their table for a moment, each contemplating the thoughts and feelings of love that they carried with them. Their first experience of love for their parents, the love they learned from books and movies, and finally the thorny love of life that shifts shape and grows thorns, deceives and enamors all at the same time.

‘Have you ever loved anyone?’ James asked Liam.

Liam took a moment to answer, though he already knew the answer. ‘United.’

‘Have you ever loved anyone?’ James asked again.

Liam shook his head. ‘What about you?’

‘Probably not love like love.’

‘So what is financial domination like, then?’ asked Liam.

James shook his head. ‘No, not like that.’

‘Not like that?

James looked out the window again and watched the people walking by the cafe in their jeans and sneakers.

Liam put the rest of his croissant into his mouth. ‘I am not sure that I could ever trust anyone enough to love them.’

‘I have all the trust in the world.’ murmured James towards the people on the street.

‘I am scared about it all.’

‘Yeah, why?’

‘I am afraid that you don’t really get a chance to choose. What if falling in love is a lot like falling asleep? It doesn’t really matter what you want in the end, you are going to fall asleep.’

‘What then?’

‘If I fall in love?’ rephrased Liam. ‘Try not to fuck it up, I guess. I bet I will want to fuck it up. Who really knows what to do with a good thing, anyways?’

‘Not sure I can love,’ said James.

Liam snorted. ‘Doubt that. You feel a little too much, I think to avoid that.’

‘Not sure that I can avoid it, I just don’t know if it will stick.’ James imagined love finding him and then rolling off his back, fumbling love in stunted fingers burned.

Liam sipped his water. He took a deep breath and then blew it out of his nose. ‘Well, fuck if I know.’ He looked down at his watch. ‘What are you doing this morning.’

James didn’t hear the question.

‘I,’ Said Liam, ‘ Am going to the post office and then I am actually going into the office today because there is catered lunch and I am tired of paying for all of my food and coffee. And toilet paper, sometimes I want to steal toilet paper from the office and take it home because I am tired for paying for my on the clock toilet paper. What a scam.’

James was still looking out the window. Liam saw his friend, still lost in the street, and put his hands down in his lap. He watched as James lips moved and his eyebrows arched, a scene so rich in his imagination his body couldn’t help but live it.

‘What are you thinking about?’ Liam finally asked. He started wrapping his scarf around his next and putting his hat on.

James shook himself into the present. ‘Nothing, you know?’

‘What’s her name?’

James gasped a little. ‘Oh, not like that.’

Liam stood up from the table. ‘Don’t worry about it. Don’t think too hard. Love is complicated. Desire is fucked up, man how much stupid shit I’ve done for chicks. Having a boss chick might be the best out of all possible situations, what do I know.’

‘I told you, I am not into that financial domination stuff.’

‘Yeah, alright buddy.’

‘Yeah no, that findom stuff is weak sauce, you don’t know what I am doing tonight. I am a wild motherfucker.’

Liam guffawed-

‘Yeah, last time someone got rhabdo. It was wild. James grinned and showed all of his teeth.’

‘Is it safe, sane, and consensual?’ asked Liam.

‘Consensual, in any case.’

Liam nodded along. ‘Oh wow, yeah, sure pal. Stay safe, then. See you later.’ He stood up and walked out of the cafe. James stayed there at the table and looked back out the window, staring at the jeans and sneakers passing by on the sidewalk.

If this story was worth your time, please share it with 1 other person you think would find value in it too. I would really appreciate it!